I'm Moleskine happy.

Thank you Pammy! ;)

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i've been hanging out here these days

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driving thingy

old blog

yey

also working on my thesis; will be back to wreak havoc very soon

the messiest room in the universe

i haven't been cleaning up my room's mess lately.

and the blog entry i have written for today's been wiped out in the universe--stinky crashy google chrome.

i can hardly see the floor

i can hardly see the floor of my small cramped up room that feels like a microwave sometimes

i can hardly see the floor of my small cramped up room where i like to lounge and stare into blank space

perfect.

please lend me a vaccum cleaner. char. silhig lang bitaw oi.

Make a stand. Wear black. Or white.

Text and graphic art by: Jesse Ramon P. Boga

I can never go wrong with black and white.

When I go to parties or events at less than a day's notice, I always play safe by wearing a black or white graphic or statement shirt, jeans, and a pair of black tear-away Converse Chuck Taylor shoes.

I couldn't decide what to wear last June 12, though (guess what I wore? pink). Celebrating our country's 112th year of Independence seems trivial. It's as if I find it very difficult to find anything genuinely Filipino around me.

Clothes? I’ve always been amused at how the nationalistic theme for clothing has become a cliché. Even our national hero Rizal would roll his eyeballs away at the sight of them.

If he were alive, and if he were to shop at Collezione or at Team Manila, he’d probably tell us, “It’s not all about looking good.” He’ll then flip his hair. “There's nothing wrong with nationalism in fashion. What we should be concerned about is our motive and true intention of wearing them.”

He’d pick a top from one of the racks of clothes and ask, “What exactly would your Filipino heart say when you’d sport a Collezione dress? Or a Team Manila shirt?”

I'd then pick up a black shirt and answer, “Mr. Rizal! Non-colors like black and white clearly represent what we strongly believe about our country and its independence. Black, because we will forever shun corruption and graft that has become a routine in our government. White, because we will constantly yearn for that ultimate peace and hope for our nation.”

And then he’d look into my eyes, “Go on…”

“The simple act of donning black or white gets a message across people about Philippine Independence: about how we should think as Filipinos.”

And then he’d answer, “Boy, have you been going to school too much?”

Photos credits:

bratpack facebook page

stylecebu.com

teammanila.multiply.com

purplemangosteen.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/philippine-flag-windy.jpg

tons of hugs!

hi!

so i've been receiving a lot of hugs this week; made me feel slightly awkward, but, y'know, it's totally okay man. you can hug me all you want, especially if you're super hot. (we can make room arrangements)

no, seriously. all these hugs are making every interaction i make with everyone awkward. like i-think-i-need-to-hug-you-for-no-apparent-reason kind of awkward.

for example, i was talking to this churchmate thingy person just this evening, and, like, it was so awkward putting one arm on his shoulder. and i'm like, "whoa, why am i doing this?"

and yea, i'm like being a conyo freak right now peppering my sentences with, like, ten billion 'like's. it's like, soo weird.

like, totally.

can't handle high end fashion!

so i bought a copy of preview magazine's june issue.

and i feel like so poor right now. like, 140pesos poorer. haha pathetic betch.

so, anyway, yea, uhh...high end fashion is totally nuts man. i only bought a copy of the magazine because i was like totally enticed by the tagline on the cover "thickest issue ever!" FIRST TIME NAKO MAGPALIT, actually. hahaha

yea, because it's like their anniversary issue. and i'm like, okay, i want to check out how they write, edit, style stuff and all that.

another reason why i bought the mag is that i'm sort of pretentiously researching, because i'll be like covering one of their events this week and i have like nothing to wear pa hahahaha!

so, yeah, i'll be attending this martish fashion show and i seriously don't want to look dumb at the event being uneducated at fashion. HAHAHAHAHA

you know me, i'm like a street fashion freak. i like things nice and cheap and laid back.

but y'know, it doesn't hurt to explore the other side of the moon. gawd, that was such a stupid metaphor. like, there's nothing fashionable in the moon.

"ikaw lang ang ramon na naga-cover ug fashion2x." -newsroom people (hahahahaha, yeah, like, my name's soo masculine, pang FHM editor na name or basketball magazine writer na name...pero fashion2x diay akong ginasulat. HAHAHAAH

o, ha? kikay kaayo! AHAHAHAHA but seriously, i find preview men interesting. hope it becomes a regular in the magazine circulation soon, because garage mag is sooo 200 pesos! AHAHA

(waa, i seriously hope they won't be giving away free copies of the magazine in the event because i'm soo going to kick myself in the face. haha i don't know what i'm gonna do with two copies of preview!)

GUESS WHO WON A TIMBUK2 MESSENGER BAG?

MEEEEEEEEEE! i wouldn't be asking that question here if it didn't involve me right? AHAHAHAHAHA

it all started when i passed by SM Davao's BratPack a few days before the 2010 elections.

i saw that they were on facebook. and so i joined the group.

they were having a "vote for your bag" contest, which was super cool and timely (hello, elections...).

i voted for the jansport bag, the timbuk2 bag and the DC bag ata...

i seriously didn't expect to win. you know me, i never win at raffle draws and contests...

but this one's different! i did win. i swear, i held my breath and excitement in when i received a message from bratpack. my body only heaved a huge sigh upon reading the message. but what i actually wanted to do was to jump up and down xD

i only got to wreak havoc at home because of excitement when i actually claimed the bag at the store.

now i have a bag to last me a lifetime! AHAHAHAHA

thanks bratpack!

my jeep kissed a GMA pick-up vehicle last tuesday morning. lovely.

the only thing that kept me holding myself back from writing the past few days is simple: i don't want to stress myself out, thinking about things...about anything! but now i'm writing again. pfft.

i want to start the year write right by trying to become less of an ass and trying to become more of a Mord'sith Dacra Seeker Wizard Confessor writer good student.

i also want to become a good driver. because i kissed a GMA pick-up yesterday morning; it was horrifying.



this was what happened.

i was on my way, driving to school when i passed bolton bridge. i didn't notice that there weren't much vehicles on the other side of the bridge (the one towards roxas). what i noticed was a big white pick up ahead of me--a big white pick up vehicle ahead facing me.

what was worse was that i only noticed it after i changed to gear three; meaning, i was speeding up.

i seriously thought that i was on the right lane...because vehicles that had to traverse opposite my direction were supposed to be on the other side of the bridge...not across me!

i slowed down when i neared the vehicle and tried to steer my jeep away from it; i wanted to transfer to the other lane, but i couldn't.

because the hood of my left front wheel already kissed the lovely front of the vehicle...apparently, it was GMA network's.

i panicked. i shifted to reverse.

the driver of the vehicle yelled at me, "o, ayaw na pagatras!"

he got out of the car, checked his vehicle's front, and scolded me.

it was a nightmare that came to life. i panicked; my being nervous wanted to kill me.

i apologized ten billion times because i did not want to pay for damages whatsoever.

amazingly, i didn't. because not a scratch hurt the pick-up vehicle.

amazingly, i didn't. because i donned my "please don't punch me in the face real hard" look.

and i didn't argue with the driver. because i thought it was my fault.

it was embarrassing.

and i didn't want to argue with him because i was in a hurry.

what i was afraid about was this: one of GMA's camera men might have taken a video footage of me while apologizing to the driver; they might have aired it in testigo. i think it was marlon palma gil who was in the pick-up.

i don't have plans to add him on facebook.

"dear co-media man, i'm sorry i kissed your pick-up vehicle. we're media friends, we should not be arguing with each other; we should be making out."

i immediately watched tv when i got home from school.

i learned that they did not broadcast my face on tv haha. and i also learned that the other bridge was closed because some stupid bus and a vehicle crashed with each others' sides.

lovely.

i was fortunate that this did not happen

or this

or this, a similar scene of bolton bridge that day

amazingly, this did not happen

because it would have been really cool if it did...all the slow mo effects. haha

dear cyberspace. i'm sorry if i'm too tired to credit photos. please don't kill me. i didn't exactly steal them.

i really hate...

hi! *waves, smiles, sticks middle finger out*

so you know what i really hate?


i really hate establishments that proclaim themselves as "high-end" but have fucked up amateur staff that insult and ignore people.

---

i'm really hard to please. it's difficult to capture me at my laughing ass happy best even with the super divine DSLR camera that has road-runner (stupid comparison) fast shutter speed.

that explains why i don't have really pretty photos at facebook.

that explains why i easily get annoyed at amateur event organizers that don't know how to treat people nice (not really super nice, because that's creepy).

fucked up hosts with bad grammar and shitty enunciations are some of the ten billion blahs i have in my pet peeve treasure chest.

but i've learned to control this cynicism. especially at whorke whore work. but when people go beyond limits, i morph into my mord'sith self and unleash malditoness to people who fucked me up.

dear pretentious stylist, you should know that there's nothing more i hate than being IGNORED AND INTERRUPTED in interviews.

you should know better whom to ignore and whom to act nice to. amateur.

dear cool people whom i've met

thank you for making me feel that working with the media is amazingly rewarding.
thank you for the ten billion things you have taught me.
thank you for inspiring me.

these are understatements.
they deserve a special blog entry. and an article too.

but i won't write them just yet.

because i'm still starting. and this is just the beginning.

impatient

hi!

so i've been acting very impatient lately...just tonight, actually.
i can't wait for the enrollment so that i have a good reason to bitch around at school again.
i can't wait to get my PF from inquirer lifestyle-2bU.
i can't wait to receive the bag i won from BratPack.
i can't wait to act mean to someone who owes me a few hundred bucks.

i can't wait to buy an ipod touch.

damnit.

it feels great to crash out five items on my to-do list.

As the world knows, i'm a big worry wart. i have this great ability to worry real bad about something...many things.

things big ang small.

like pending articles i can write if only i'm not lazy.

like texting or emailing someone.

like updating facebook status.

like cleaning up my room.

like telling a simple story to someone.

i tend to greatly worry over things that i need to do.

i can do them now. and stop worrying. but i'm too lazy to do them all now.

because i have a headache. i can't be at my best when i have a headache.

because i've been watching too much legend of the seeker. because the seeker is hot. because the mord'sith is hot. because the dacras is cool. and because i'm down to the last few episodes of season two.

but the tv series deserve another blog entry. and an article for entertainment, perhaps...

for now, i'll work on some emails. and facebook status.

i'll worry about the rest...like i always do.

unlucky bastard

hi!

so i went to neo's laptop launching today. they raffled off one of their latest basic netbooks. and guess what?

i did not win.

yeah, like that's a surprise. i've never won in a raffle. i wonder if the universe is setting me up. it's been always this way before. it sucks.

i swear i was *gestures* this close to getting that netbook. i saw a vision. but my premonition did not come true. i'm not a wizard that can cast magic, after all.

and so i'm here writing on my old trusty (HEAVY!) HP laptop. i wish father would buy me a new one.

because he's finally arrived home! yey! after six months in israel (hmm, i think i lost count), he's finally home.

i drove my mum and sister to the airport to fetch father.

it was my first time to drive at night (it was also drizzling)! it was crazy. all the glaring headlights makes my chance of hitting a human big! crap. but i survived though. whew.

we had dinner together (ang buong pamilya!)--probably one of the best family dinners ever. there was nothing special really. my sisters didn't feel anything. but i felt so blessed just seeing us all in one table again--after a very long time.

it sucks that our camera's still broken though. crap. couldn't take pictures of anything and everything! makes my life as a journalist/reporter/blogger/freak difficult.

all blocks of text is boring y'know.

i can't tell you how freakish my father was for taking home ten billion bottles of perfume and three thousand boxes of tea.

what are we going to do with all of those?!

i was fine with one gift though: a hug from father. it feels so dramatic because i never remember any moment in my life where he hugged me. i think that was the first time.

made me feel so connected to him that i realized how big of a dick our heads have become. yes, i'm bald again. feels great. i feel like a dick. that's totally fine.

ew. POOR!

One of the many things that I really hate in this world is poverty.

Crap. That first sentence made me sound like I'm going to write a social commentary. I'm not.

Instead, i'm going to complain about how depressing and shitty my life is recently.

Okay, so i'm broke. And that means the end of the world to me.

I swear, I found myself lying in my bed for hours, thinking of things like, what could have been if I weren't.

If I weren't broke, I would freely live my life like I normally do...uhh, what do I do in my life exactly? Hmm...

My point is that my wallet feels tight. I can no longer fly to the breakfast club before midnight and enjoy a bacon meal (yeah, i'm that fucking broke). I eat skyflakes instead. Fucking skyflakes.

I find this situation both annoying and funny.

When i'm not broke, I get to buy crappy and unecessary stuff. I also get to say this string of words to cheap and stingy people with all sarcasm and conviction: ew. poor.

Today was a turn of events. Ako na ang sinabihan ng tanginang string of words na yan.

What I also hate is those people/acquaintances I see at the mall and immediately (almost without thinking) ask me to treat them. As in like, “panlibre jes beh!”

ew. like. Wtf? Get a new face or something.

Yeah, i'm that mean.

But the world turned around today. I actually found myself saying that to willette and cecile when I saw them at the mall today. ew. poor me.

The worse part is that my mum and I had a fight. She called me a weak, lazy senyorito who can't even ride a bike (her words are better written in bisaya actually. Mas harsh. Tangina jud).

First of all, kabalo na ko magbike. I taught myself to ride a bike last weekend.

Second, i'm not a lazy ass and i'm not senyorito. Otherwise I would not have written an extremely cool radio drama script about my sister's being an ass. It was fifteen minutes long. Haha pathetic kaayo ko ug justifications sa akong pagka-dili tamad.

Anyway, yeah. A fight between my mum and I always means not talking to each other—i can keep up to more than a week. It also means that she can't give me allowance or whatever. Fuck.

So, yeah. I woke up today with no breakfast. I felt so poor. My mum and my sisters left the house early (I didn't know where they went). I swear, sumakit ang ulo ko because nalipasan ako ng gutom worse than I imagined.

Nagbreakfast ko kay mga 7pm na. Haha that was the first decent meal of the day. Shet kaayo. I don't want to tell you what i've eaten for “lunch” and “merienda” because that would make me look like a scavenger.

Ew poor kaayo ko.

Waa!

photo from: http://newzar.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/rich_poor.jpg

crappyness

i'm a frustrated video blogger

i swear, ever since i got hooked onto natalie tran, i've been making
video blog entries in my head...on top of the documentary i've been
wanting to pursue for meda122...sucky groupmates did not hear me out
(partly my fault because basil was being a bigmouth, "ay, wag na tayo
magdocumentary ui. kapoi research. basta gawin natin 'tong chick
flick."

fuck. chick. flick. suck. lick. dick.

everyone knows the film stinks.

that's one of the many reasons why i did not attend the premier night,
why i haven't paid the 400 peso contribution yet (because i'm broke),
and why i have been uncooperative during the crappy panic video
shoots.

kung naa lang koi camera ug maayong kompyuter, i swear, nihawa jud ko
sa grupo namo.

ayan, na, lumalabas na ang smellynessity.

bitaw.

sucker man jud gud. sori ha?! wala jud nako ni nagawas na predicament
during finals week.

tae jud. as in. may'pag nag MC105 ko (char, feeling ABMC sa ADDU. haha)

kung dili dahil kay marj ug katrina, blagz jud ang film.

so, anyway, yeah. tama na. makakita jud kog away ani.

---

so, kapoi today. shet kaayo. first time nako magdrive from toril to
downtown--WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY!

sheet! makabuang akong mga pasajero! sigeg syagit. makalimot na lang
ko asa ang break. sheeeeet!

---

gahapon ba, sige kog shoot ug crappy scenes of everyday living. i
tried to edit them today into a vlog entry. pero naghang ang pc.
sheeet!

kapoi na usab.

maypag magpadayon na lang ko ug sulat sa mga napan-os nga event sa
eskwelahan ug i-exaggerate kini para mahalin. atik lang.

di nga, naguilty talaga ako kasi di ko nasulat ang math mania at kontra gapi.

nganu gani nabusy ko?

---

so, wala lang. amazeng jud kaayo ang akong mga besfren na si henji ug libay.

wala lang. amazeng lang.

si doreen pud, amazeng.

type lang nako i-mention ilang name.

sole dilemmas

i've been staring at this pair of shoes since i bought it a few weeks ago.

i've never worn it.

at least not yet.

i'm waiting for that ultra wear your shoe moment to hit me.

i like to describe that moment as walking on a clean tiled surface all day and not getting the soles scratched or dirtied.

hmm, does that spell out a coverage at a mall?

i don't know.

do you get that feeling too? let me know.

---

i've been wanting to sell some of my havaianas since i decided to pursue an ipod touch.

do you want to buy a pair? do you know someone who wants to buy a pair?

let me know. or head over to my other blog (i have photos in there).

a comeback

im back to tell you five things:
one. this blog is so jologs. i read my old posts and wondered what got into my head while writing them.
two. im hungry. and i want a burger.
three: the year 2009 is flying super fast. i could not believe the things happening around me.

aw. three lang pala. haha

oh, i want to be obsessed again. with someone. or with something.
obsession is what keeps me going.
yey

hop hop hop

hop on here: http://jesiramoun.multiply.com

i won't be using this blog for the next 100 years...i think

untitled

you wake up early on a Saturday morning,
ate breakfast, took a bath,
and rushed to the spa.

there you took in jazz music,
a calming drink, a soothing massage,
and a good magazine to read.

you close your eyes as the masseur
digs in your really tired muscles.
you moan as she scrubbed your sore feet.
you let out a sigh of relief
after you felt that you were sane again.

you stepped out of the spa
and headed to the nearest taxi station.
you felt like a goddess.

"to the mall please." you instructed
as you stepped in the yellow cab.

you arrived just in time.
there wasn't much of a crowd.
you start to shop.

first, you dropped by a shoe store.
you admire their designs
and decided to get a pair.

you then hopped on to a clothing shop.
you marvel at the intricate weave patterns
on their dresses.
you decided to get the white one.

you walked around the mall.
something catches your eyes--flip-flops:
brightly colored flip-flops
hanging in a wide white wall
that seemed like an endless plain
that bore a vertical horizon.

you entered the store
and tried on a pair.
it was comfortable.
and you liked the design:
Indian-inspired paisleys,
floating around like a paramecium.
and you liked the color:
red, the color of blood;
the color of life.
you decided to take it home with you.

in a matter of seconds,
you already had three shopping bags
hanging on your arm
like little children
swinging back and forth
in a weak branch
of a rotten tree.

you then felt thirsty.
you proceed to a world-famous coffee shop
and ordered a venti cup
of your favorite frappe.

you strut your stuff
as you made your way out of the mall.

you stood outside by a taxi station
and waited for your ride to come.

there was a puddle of murky water
in front of you.
but you couldn't care less.

in a flash, a yellow cab zoomed in front of you
making a huge splash that hurled towards you.
you scream.
and your body then went
into the traditional defense mode.
but it didn't work.
you still got wet.
wet with brown water
infested with dirt, saliva,
and cigarette butts
that seem to have come from
a dirty old man.

you were stunned
and felt really disgusting
with the feel of bacteria on your body.

a police approached you.
the police was handsome,
had broad shoulders
and puffed chests.

you were in love.
and soaked wet.

he pulled out something from his pocket.
you smile,
anticipating his generosity
and kindness to have actually helped you
when you were all dirty.

but it was not what you expected.
he pulled out a silver chain
with huge cuffs on both ends.

he locks one on your wrist.
you gave him a puzzled look.
he just smiled,
trying to make you fall in love
with him.

then a bunch of people appeared on the scene.
they were all mad
and gave you a furious look.
you ask why.

"you didn't pay for those!"
they replied.

then, they stripped you naked and took all
that was hanging on your arms.

one asked you to induce vomit.
the coffee shop manager
wanted the frappe back.

you complied.
he left with a big smile
and a venti cup on his right.

you turn to your left
and see a young girl,
barefoot, smothered in dirt
like she didn't take a bath
for ten years.

she smiled and showed you
the bundles of sampaguita
hanging on her left arm.

you were petrified
and never took your sight
out of her
as the young policeman
dragged you to jail.

ReHaB...

If you’re an Havaianatic, you’ve come to the right place. And if you’re in a state of ‘re-hab’, I pretty much know how to help you ‘abstain’.

Every Havaianatic goes through this stage.

They call it ‘rehab’.

Although I really don’t know how to, as in, clearly define it, but rehab is when you, sort of, stop [temporarily] your addiction (duh, ‘rehab’) with Havaianas. Can somebody provide a better definition for this one? hehe

First, I shall point out the reasons why havaianatics go rehab.

1. They try to end their addiction (an attempt if I may say). If you ask me, this is kind of difficult—more especially if you’re ‘really dedicated’. It’s like not drinking water in a midst of a chili-eating contest. Well at least they try…

2. They’re broke. This happens occasionally—when you think that you should’ve bought shoes instead of havaianas.

3. They want to get rid of tan lines on their feet. Haha, what’s that again?

4. They need space. Just like in a freakin’ relationship, getting something out of your head—err, feet is also necessary.

5. Trip lang nila. Para may thrill din ang buhay nila.

6. Realization. They probably realized that getting addicted over marijuana is better than getting addicted over rubber(?!). hehe

7. Discovery. They found a new obsession over havaianas.

If you found your match from the abovementioned ‘reasons’, continue reading. If not, smile.

Tips on how to abstain:

1. try to get it out of your head. As much as possible, think/worry about bigger things like ships, planes, and elephants. There’s got to be a way. After all, our mind is a vast space of thoughts (or nothingness)…

2. sell thy havaianas. This one, I must say, is really cruel. I mean like hel-looooo, you were once dying to get this pair and that, tapos ibebenta mo lang?! [sayang ang efforts, hehe] and yeah, this is not as effective as you think it will be for you will later on miss your havaianas once they’re gone and will then be ‘forced’ to buy new ones. But hey, ti’s worth a try.

3. a follow up on number two. Think of how much you once wanted to get this pair and that [those sleepless and excited nights. hehe] and now that you have it, realize that you’re so damn lucky to have it.

4. another follow-up on the previous item. Think back of how much you really, as in, got obsessed and excited by just thinking about it all day and all night before you actually possessed it.

5. admire your collection. It doesn’t matter how many you own. Wear them. Stare at them. Marvel at their beauty and, ‘sheez’, comfort. And again, think of how lucky you are to have them and that someone else didn’t buy it instead of you. Think of how lucky you are for winning that item at ebay. Think of how lucky you are to have actually gone home with that pair after a chaotic day at AFF (and that someone else went home disappointed knowing that YOU got the last pair they lusted for months…hehe).

Hmm, I guess that’s all I can tell. Heehee, feel free to add some more ‘tips’.

I know it’s not as complete as you thought it would be. I know I’m not much of an havaianas expert. But hey, I’m sure, by the time you finish reading this, you probably know how to control yourself…a little.

Hehehe
***

more tips:

6. buy havaianas for someone else. Havaianas look good on you. and it also does to everybody else. Share your ‘obsession’. It will not just make other people happy, it will also ease the ‘pain of rehab’ hahaha

7. box your havaianas. Keep them out of your sight and mind. By the time you miss them, open them up and you’ll feel like you have actually had new pairs ‘snicker’.

9. reflect on these sayings:

“you have the authority to take control over things. Don’t let them take over you.”

“...contentment is not the fulfillment of what you wish for, but appreciation of what you have.”

"don't get disappointed when God doesn't give you what you want. He knows the best time for you to have it. actually, you can have it all! but not all at once."

“i cried because i had no shoes. until i saw a happy man with no feet. life's full of blessings, but we sometimes are just too blind to appreciate them.”

“do not keep on wanting things you think would complete you, but try to value things that are left on you. it is what you have and not what you want is valuable.”

THIS ONE’S THE OPPOSITE. Hehe

“never let anyone make you feel that you don't deserve what you want. you are worthy of your happiness. what they say doesn't change anything. it doesn't change you, unless you let it.”